When a group of teenage friends go on a spring break camping trip, an unfortunate accident sets off a race against time to save their friend's most prized possession.
The Package Review
by Dylan Blight
If you stumble upon this Netflix Original movie, look, there is a lot of penis in this movie and there is no way to go around that. It's not subtle like the first trailer for the film which played very coy about the plot of the movie. The Package, which was once simply going to be called *eggplant emoji* the movie, is as the trailer teases, about a young man who cuts off his penis, gets airlifted to hospital with the wrong cooler containing the appendage and then has to hope his friends can get the right cooler to the hospital for him on time. If that sounds like a bit much for you, then yeah, it's going to be a bit much for you.
With the full producing for of the team behind Workaholics behind this, you should know what you're getting into. Jake Szymanski who's last project was Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates directs, and that movie can get weird, but this is definitely a step up.
Sean (Daniel Doheny) has just returned from Germany where he was studying for unknown reasons. His rather dorky-self meets up with his equally dorky friend Donnie (Luke Spencer Roberts) and their outgoing friend Jeremy (Eduardo Franco) for a 'bro-trip' into the woods full of drinking and smoking weed. Jeremy though has invited along his sister Becky (Geraldine Viswanathan) and she's brought her friend Sarah (Sadie Calvano) who, of course, Donnie has a crush on and, of course, Sean has a crush on Becky -- Bechdel test this film will not pass. They head up into the woods with booze purchased with a fake ID and soon enough the incident takes place as a drunken and stoned Jeremy plays with a knife while peeing off a cliff. Teen-comedy stereotypes commence.
What makes the outrageousness of The Package work is the commitment of the actors and the fact that although they're ridiculous characters, they're all kinda likeable even if odd. Donnie is the annoying dude who has a condom to throw as Sean as he tells him to make a move on Becky but he never becomes a full asshole. Daniel Doheny is playing the dorky dude so well he's giving a young and new age Jason Briggs vibe. Geraldine Viswanathan continues to be a standout in comedy this year after Blockers earlier this year and showing a willingness for the ridiculous and gross but being constantly likeable. Sadie Calvano, unfortunately, doesn't get much to do, but this is really nothing but the movies own fault. It doesn't try and hide it's very much a 'bro-movie.'
As those left at the campsite begin the realise they still have the penis in a cooler they need to get to the hospital ASAP so we begin cutting throughout the movie to Jeremy laying in the hospital bed. These scenes with Eduardo Franco and Mary Holland as the Nurse are some of the funniest scenes in the movie as both these actors bounce off each other so well. I haven't watched Netflix's American Vandal but watching Franco in this movie really makes me want to, just for him.
The Package isn't just crude in its premise, it's visually as crude as it's willing to take its jokes. In case that doesn't make sense I'll spell it out: you will see a lot of a severed penis being throw around the screen. Although not horror movie disgusting, it's definitely cringy at times and not for the faint of heart.
One thing that worried me for some time while watching The Package was that it was going to have poor taste homophobic jokes. I can imagine this movie being made ten years ago and the scene where one of the characters attempts to suck snake poison out of a severed poison being accused of being gay for the rest of the movie. Thankfully it avoids any homophobic jokes and sticks to what it sets itself up to be for the majority of the movie -- really in-your-face dick jokes.
The Package is the most committed movie to a 90-minute disgusting, at times grotesque dick joke I've ever seen. Its characters aren't anything special, but the cast makes it work. By far a movie for everyone, but it's hard to not give some respect to a movie willing to commit to a dick joke this big.
Directors: Jake Szymanski
Writers: Kevin Burrows, Matt Mider
Cast: Daniel Doheny, Geraldine Viswanathan, Sadie Calvano, Luke Spencer Roberts, Edurdo Franco
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