Synopsis:
Grind on bendy straws, kickflip over staplers, and carve killer lines through cardboard and sticky tape parks. Above all else, skate birds try their best!

Publisher Glass Bottom Games
Reviewed on: PC (Ryzen 5 2600, RTX 2070 Super, 32GB DDR4)
Also available for: Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S

Developer: Glass Bottom Games
Programmer: Prop Artist, Designer: Megan Fox
Tech Artist, User Testing: Sara Fox
Musician: Nathan Madsen
Narrative Director: Xalavier Nelson Jr.
3D Character Artist, Animator: Alexander Price

Skateboarding games have always been one of my favourite niche genres. I played all of them — the Tony Hawk (THPS) series as a kid through to the Skate franchise when I was skateboarding myself every day. SkateBIRD is a game looking to replicate the feeling of the earlier Tony Hawk games, of which developer Vicarious Visions released a remake of last year. The big problem with SkateBIRD, especially coming off that remake, is that the game feels terrible to play. It’s a chore, and it feels anti-fun at nearly any moment you have a controller in your hand.

I’d been looking forward to SkateBIRD because it looks adorable and charming. It’s always looked that way in the trailers, and with each new tantalizing teaser, I patiently awaited the release date for over a year. I like birds; I like to skateboard; how could it go wrong? Of course, the one way it could go wrong: it feels terrible to play.

On a fundamental level, the controls in SkateBIRD attempt to mimic the classic THPS series. You push forward on the analogue stick to begin moving and hold down a face button to perform an ollie, kickflips, grab tricks, manuals and grinds. All of it feels like you’re trying to skate goofy with your shoes on backwards as someones constantly chucking pebbles in front of your skateboard. Because you’re playing as a bird, there’s an awful floaty feeling to how the bird moves. Other than performing a manual, every trick and flip feels like a flip of a coin. I’d be genuinely surprised every time I managed to perform the trick or action that I wanted and not shocked to see the bird fling-itself at a wall instead of performing whatever I’d attempted.

I played two levels of SkateBIRD before I drew the line and decided I couldn’t see it through to the finish. No matter what levels were coming up, there’s no way I would move from wishing I was playing anything else. Of the two levels I did play, the first was a somewhat stereotypical micromachine designed bedroom for the bird to skate around. However, the second level was a terrible rooftop level with confounding design choices that were so confusing to make your way everywhere. Based on the level design alone, I became frustrated, not to mention the controls adding to this after the fact.

What’s consistent with pre-release and now is that SkateBIRD has a wonderfully wholesome art style, and the somewhat cringe commitment to ‘birb’ aesthetic and language works for me. There’s a surprising amount of birds and cosmetic items you can dress your skater-bird in. You can also find new clothing and accessories in levels to unlock, giving you a reason to explore. Unfortunately, you’ll have to do a little bit of digging since you need to find birds inside each level to trigger the next mission. There is no way to fast-travel to the next mission or even get a waypoint marker to where the bird is, so you’re left to explore and hope for the best.

I’m sure SkateBIRD will click for someone, and if that’s you, I am very jealous. I wanted to like this game so much, but it’s one of the biggest disappointments of 2021. I can’t get past just how anti-fun the controls, mission design and world design are. Aesthetically it’s perfect, I love it, but it seems most of the effort has gone into nailing the cute gifs and not the slick heelflips.

(SkateBIRD code provided for review)