South Park: Snow Day! is a fractured but whole experience. Sorry, that was terrible. If I were offering you a stick of truth, it would be that this game has nothing on the previous two South Park video game entries, but it’s at least a playable, possibly fun afternoon with some friends. 

Following the events of the past two games, a snow-over in South Park means the kids have no school, and Cartman and Co are overjoyed to start a new fantasy game. However, given that the new kid ruined the last game by getting too “op”, there are some new rules regarding abilities and regulations around combat this time. It all starts relatively fun with you being on the human wizard Cartman’s side and battling against the elves run by Kyle, but soon enough, it gets weirder as the group begins to wonder if there’s an evil magic making the snow never end. 

Matt Stone and Trey Parker write the story, so there is an element of the South Park charm, but the gameplay being anywhere near as engaging as Stick of Truth, or Fractured But Whole has all but disappeared. Instead of an inventive take on RPG genres, with a whimsical way of bringing in many South Park characters and elements, Snow Day! is a simple co-op rogulike. Your “new kid” is joined by up to three other new kids, either online or AI controller. You’ll team up with them to make your way through relatively simple levels, defeating hoards of enemies using either basic attacks or two special abilities and then take on a boss at the end of each level. 

What the kids have decided as a rule-set to keep everyone in line is a card system that sees each side in a level pick from a randomised selection of power-ups at the start of the level, ranging from bubble shields and more to a “bullshit” card which can be used a specific amount of times to trigger a powerful ability. Well, when I say a certain amount of times, you, as your opponent, will somehow manage to use theirs at least every five minutes and power up their minions. The other two abilities you bring into a level are up to you, and you’ll unlock more as you progress through the game. A healing rod will protect you and your allies, a fart attack makes enemies around you sick and sends you into the air, and there’s more. Making your way through a level, you’ll find chests with card upgrades and be able to select one periodically from Timmy. These only last until the end of this particular run but will enable your healing rod to do things like revive as well, increase your base level attack, or fill out your health bar. 

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The card system and a South Park roguelike co-op isn’t a bad idea. How it all comes together just isn’t well done at all. The game is built for replaying and getting better cards and then increasing your base stats with something called ‘dark matter,’ but you could randomise everything in the game, and even on the hardest difficulty with at least one other non-AI player, you’ll be fine. There’s no finesse to the roguelike elements other than you dying and starting again. And there’s no structure to the cards either, with no feeling of strategy or thought into what you have to pick. Especially when your opponent just spams random bullshit (cards), and you just have to accept and deal with that. 

This is an inoffensive South Park game, and I mean that in all the negative ways. The narrative is PG, the scenarios are unexciting, and the gameplay is more or less a repetitive bore. After two well-done South Park games, this is nothing but a huge disappointment.

(Review code provided to Explosion Network.
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