What The Golf? Review

Synopsis:
A silly physics-based golf parody where every golf course is a new surprising type of golf—some brilliant or hilarious, others so absurd they’ll make you go: WHAT THE GOLF?

Reviewed on: iPhone 11 Pro (Apple Arcade)
Also available on: Windows (EGS from Oct 1), Nintendo Switch (2019)

Developer: Triband
Publisher: Fig

In What The Golf? you are aiming to get to a flag attached to a pole and maybe even a hole below that, but you’re most likely not hitting a golf ball with a golf club. In fact, sometimes you’re launching the club itself, or the golfer; in one level you’re flinging the power-and-direction indicator you use to control your shots. All, of course, leading to you asking “what the… golf?”

As a game, What The Golf? could have putt-in its jokes and puns and run out of stamina very fast. But somehow developer Triband manages to constantly tweak, re-work, and build upon the simple gag throughout the campaign and make me laugh, smile, or nod in approval at some of the outrageous pun-tastic level finishes.

The easiest comparison to make here is WarioWare, but where that game is a fast-paced mixtape of fun nonsense, What The Golf? stitches its madness together with an overworld. You work your way through an underground golf test lab, seemingly inspired by Portal. Levels are grouped into themed wings you clear to unlock the next, which keeps everything fresh and constantly changing.

For the most part, the levels are a breeze—it’s mostly about the experience and the jokes. The challenge comes from replaying each level for a ‘par’ and then the ‘challenge’ version, which often flips the level in wild ways you won’t expect.

It’s not just flicking things across golf courses, either—What The Golf? riffs on a variety of games including Flappy Bird, Guitar Hero, and SUPERHOT (my favourite). The way you interact also changes: portrait to landscape, and at times even a light FPS that uses the iPhone’s gyroscope.

I’ve 100%’d about half the levels, so I’m not sure what secrets lie beyond completing everything, but a single pass—without much resistance—will take a couple of hours and deliver plenty of laughs.

As the credits roll, Triband thanks you for playing and promises more content is coming. I’m looking forward to it—What The Golf? is the first Apple Arcade game I finished, mostly because I couldn’t put it down.